Remembering High School Grad

NLCC Grads 2013

My 10-year high school reunion is coming up this summer, and it has me feeling all sorts of nostalgic. A decade ago, I sat in the pavilion of the Tacoma Dome, waiting for my name to be called from a list of about 200 students graduating from Bellarmine Prep.

If I close my eyes and think back to those times, I have all sorts of memories from high school, images conjured up from the past:

High School Joel

• Playing drums at football games and assemblies, alongside Pete, an incredibly talented and rigidly disciplined percussionist who had a snarky sense of humour before that was considered hip. There were four drummers in our high school band: Pete, Tim, Kevin, and myself. The others were all 6-feet tall or larger; I hovered around 5' 4'' until my senior year, earning me the nickname "Mouse."
• The crushes I had on various girls for various seasons. I could name their names, but I've done that once before on this blog, and it got awkward.
• The embarrassing moment giving a presentation in sophomore year English that led to me not taking public speaking class until my final semester of my senior year. It literally took an act of God to give me the gift of teaching/preaching and call me into youth ministry, where I now spend the majority of my time communicating to teenagers. God has a sense of humour.
• Taking the SATs and feeling dumb for being friends with Cameron Gibelyou, Michael Baine, and a variety of others who actually got perfect scores.
• The Junior Encounter and Senior Pilgrimage, two spiritual journeys that my Jesuit high school did for us that I (regrettably) didn't take as seriously as I should have. Once again, the irony that I would be planning and leading similar retreats as a central part of my job and vocational calling is not lost on me.
• The day 9/11 happened, which was Maureen Trantham's birthday. I remember eating lunch with her and a group of friends, and it was strange to go about our days, knowing the tragedy that was happening across the country.
• I went to kindergarten with a few of my fellow grads: Chelsea McNerthney, Paul Miller, Kiel Shaub, Lauren Whitham, Holly Zuluaga. Facebook keeps us updated about each others' lives, but I haven't seen many of these folks since graduation. (Paul came to my wedding, and I still love the guy. Best friends in elementary and high school!)
• Favourite bands: Radiohead, Jimmy Eat World, and Relient K. Favourite movies: The Matrix, Jurassic Park, and Dumb and Dumber. Some of these haven't changed.

Grad Gifts: The Way Bible and a College Survival Kit (mug, ramen noodles, instant coffee, laundry detergent packets, pen, list of recipes for making food in a microwave)

As the graduating class of 2013 is about to embark on the journey into emerging adulthood, it's important for me to remember what it felt like to be in high school, to recall the excitement and energy and fear and insecurity and hopes and passions and dreams. It's important to remember where you've come from and empathize with those who currently are where you once were. More than anything, it's important to remind these grads of their identity in Jesus, who loves them and guides them and is graciously writing their story.

Remember: what were you like in high school? Who were your friends? What did you spend your time doing? What were you experiencing emotionally, relationally, and spiritually?

Man of Steel

The movies are getting darker this days. From bleak revenge plots in Iron Man 3 and Star Trek Into Darkness, to the onslaught of post-apocalyptic Earth-is-a-wasteland films coming out this summer--Oblivion, After Earth, Elysium, and World War Z, to name a few. Even the comedies are getting darker; This Is the End and The World's End are both raunchy summer comedies about...well...the end of the world. Hilarious premise, I know. So I was hoping for a glimmer of hope dressed up in the red-and-blue of the most pure and upright of the comic book superheroes--Superman. While Zack Snyder's Man of Steel is entertaining, well-acted, and features plenty of visual wonder, this origin story of Superman is far less pure than the source material.

Man of Steel is darker and less campy than previous Superman films. Gritty and grim in much of its tone, with a washed-out greyish tint over much of the film, the film has a ridiculous amount of intense action sequences involving the destruction of entire cities. Perhaps this is because the reality of multiple beings with the incredible powers of the Kryptonians all fighting each other would cause immense collateral damage. Perhaps movies audiences just want to see more epic explosions. Perhaps both. This is an action spectacle as big as last summer's The Avengers; bigger, in some ways, as the destruction feels far more real here.

In spite of the more obvious changes from the comic books--Jenny Olson instead of Jimmy, no crimson undies, etc.--does Man of Steel contain the heart of the character of Superman? I wrestle with a clear answer. There are poignant scenes where hope and transcendence shine through. Yet these are far outweighed by intensity and explosives, showing much more of Superman the warrior than Superman the savior. Henry Cavill is a capable lead actor as Kal-El, and certainly has the physical build for the role, yet I wish he had more room to just...be. Be Clark Kent. Be Kal-El. Be Superman. Wrestle with the identity questions and moral responsibility of being Kryptonian in a human world. While these issues are certainly raised, they're far outweighed by the multiple action sequences. This is a film of doing, not being. My favourite moments in the film are the flashbacks, the moments where Clark is a boy living in Kansas with the Kents, struggling to make friends and learning how to navigate this world with responsibility and character. The secondary characters aren't especially developed, but Amy Adams, Laurence Fishburn, and Kevin Costner give their characters (Lois Lane, Perry White, and Jonathan Kent, respectively) a heart and courage that go beyond the basic elements of the script. Michael Shannon as General Zod is a great villain, and Shannon is quickly becoming one of my favourite American actors for his quiet intensity in the roles he chooses. Most impressive is Russell Crowe as Jor-El, the father of Superman. Where Marlon Brando's Jor-El was essentially a floating head in Richard Donner's Superman, this Jor-El is a warrior and a mentor, a guide for Kal-El even beyond the grave.

Spoiler Alert: Speaking of graves, Superman does something out of character in the climax of Man of Steel, an act that hasn't really been done before on the big screen and in such a bold manner--Superman kills. In the epic fight between Superman and Zod, blows are given back and forth, with Superman the victor. However, Zod makes it clear that he will not stop his pursuit of the destruction of humanity, no matter the cost.  With the future of Krypton completely destroyed, Zod has nothing else to live for apart from vengeance. He is practically inviting Superman to destroy him. And he does, with a quick neck-snap. Superman is clearly morally distraught by the act, crying out in anguish after the dust has settled. Is the death justifiable? Arguments could be made either way, but one thing is certain: this isn't your Saturday morning cartoon Superman. This isn't a Superman I'd want to show to my toddler son.

The gap at Metacritic between critics' and audience perceptions of the film is quite split: 55/100 from critics and 8.4/10 from audiences. This gap perfectly expresses the internal debate I'm having after viewing the film: the "audience" in me--the one that, for better or worse, likes watching things blow up real good and superheroes fully utilize their superpowers by punching baddies through buildings--would give Man of Steel an 8/10. The "critic" in me--the one that ruminates and ponders and compares and...well...thinks about these stories, their artistic merit and embedded truths and respect to the source material--would give it a 5/10.

The parallels between Kal-El and Christ are strong. Both are sent to earth by their fathers as a person embodying hope for the human race. Both are misunderstood by humanity and made to be an outcast. Both have incredible power, yet choose the way of a servant for others. Superman is all about "truth, justice, and the American way." Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. A wonderful, all-too-short scene in Man of Steel occurs in a church. General Zod has asked that Kal-El turn himself over for the ransom of humanity. Clark sits down with a pastor in the church and verbalizes what he already knows he must do--he has to give himself up for the sake of humankind. The conversation is quite short, because Clark isn't seeking the pastor for advice as much as for a sounding board to confirm his moral ruminations. He walks out mid-conversation, knowing the path he must take, and willing to burden the cost on his own shoulders. If nothing else, Man of Steel reminds us of humanity's need for a savior, one who is capable of taking on our darkest foes and reminding us of the goodness and hope we were always meant to experience.

Film Fest 2013

I love youth ministry. I also love movies. When those two loves meet, it's a beautiful thing.

Tonight, I'll host the third Film Fest I've led in a youth ministry. The idea started two years ago in Arizona, and has evolved to include red carpet, interviews with the press, Oscar trophies, and some pretty amazing student-created films. The YouTube generation--and particularly for teens in the Canadian film capital of Vancouver--are all about making awesome movies to show to their friends. So we made an award show out of it.

Here's a two-minute movie explaining Film Fest:


Movies + youth ministry = awesome.

Being Good News for Schools

TGIS

Nearly a year ago, I shared six practices for doing youth ministry on a high school campus. I learned those practices while living and ministering in Arizona. I'm now in Canada, and the same principles and practices still apply!

One week ago, a group of youth workers spanning a range of denominations, churches, ages, and backgrounds all partnered together to do something together we couldn't do alone: throw a huge end-of-school-year barbecue for the local high school. We called it TGIS: Thank God It's Summer. We had hotdogs, juice, a DJ, inflatables, a dunk tank, foosball tables, a photo booth, and a junkyard-salvaged panel van for the students to doodle and draw upon.

All of it was free for the students.

This kind of partnership between schools and churches, para-church youth workers and youth pastors, and various denominations and church sizes is a beautiful picture of the kingdom of heaven breaking through on earth. It's about sharing and embodying good news in ways beyond handing out tracts or inviting people to church programs. It's partnership and presence and prayer.

Here are some other practical ways to be good news to your local school:

Volunteer. Be a driver for special events and after-school programs. Be a chaperone for dances and field trips. Become a tutor in your favourite subject from school.

Coach. Track and field, football, basketball, hockey, soccer, volleyball--you name it, they need coaches and trainers. Track in particular has so many different events, they usually love the help.

Clubs. After-school clubs and programs typically need adult presence and sponsorship to become official. From art to chess to drama to anime, and anything in between, find a club that needs an adult sponsor and help them out.

Coffee and Food. Drop off free coffee and donuts at the teachers' lounge. Write them a thank you card, telling them how grateful you are for what they do for the kids in our community.

Ask. Call the principals and administrators at your local school and ask them: what needs aren't currently being met, and how can I meet them, no strings attached? In both Arizona and BC, the biggest need was simple: they needed more loving and caring adult presence on campus, particularly before school and during lunch. That's a need I can certainly meet!

How can you be good news to the school in your neighbourhood?

Refuge in the Wilderness

In the expanse of the flat and thorny savanna, a lone acacia tree in Tsavo East National Park, Kenya attracts wildlife to find rest and comfort in its shade and greenery, causing a spidery web of trails cut into the desert earth.

It's been appropriately named the "tree of life."

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message)

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,    my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:1-2, NIV)

Are you tired, worn down, or burned out on religious efforts? Come to Jesus. Find rest in the shelter of the God of grace, who offers us life and light and refuge.

(ht to 22 words)

The Unnecessary Correction: On Being a Conversation Editor

Photo Credit: cellar_door_films (Creative Commons)

"Actually...." 

This is how it begins. Someone has made a statement in a conversation, and then it happens:

The unnecessary correction. Noun. A criticism of the factual content of someone's comment in casual conversation, able to put any healthy dialogue to a blistering halt.

I know how the unnecessary correction works because I'm a naturally gifted corrector.

In my high school and college years, I was naive to the fact that my seemingly helpful corrections were, in fact, prohibiting relationship. I thought I was doing people a service, showing them the error of their ways and opinions. Who wouldn't want to be steered onto the right path? And I was a great steerer. From historical facts to theological questions to movie trivia to intricacies of personal stories, I was a fantastic editor for the people around me, particularly for my then-girlfriend/now-wife. If she was inadvertently mistaken in her information or opinion, I made sure she knew what was right.

You can see the arrogance. I wasn't correcting people to help or bless them. I was correcting them in order to appear right to others around me. Correct. Authoritative. Superior. It took some wise and loving individuals to correct me and my editorial habits. Their exhortation didn't come from a casual conversation or a throwaway comment; it was careful and gracious and for our relationship's benefit.

I don't want to be a conversation editor. The self-motivated criticism and edit of someone else's comment in conversation is never worth the cost of friendship.

Are you an unnecessary editor in conversation? Do your comments foster further conversation or shut it down? How can you give grace to others around you today, whether you're the corrector or the corrected?

On Indie Hipster Romantic Comedies

When I first saw Marc Webb's (500) Days of Summer in 2009, I fell in love. Here, for the first time in recent memory, a romantic comedy had captured the zeitgeist of the North American romantic culture, with its confusing mixed messages and nebulous aims (Are we trying to get married, or trying to avoid getting married? Can I please have both?). It also managed to capture the postmodern romantic journey in a decidedly indie-hipster manner, complete with an amazing soundtrack and well-dressed millennials pursuing love in an urban setting. I wrote this about the film in 2009, and it still rings true:

For those of us under the age of 30, we've grown up in a media-saturated world with two contradictory views about love. There is the naively idealistic notion of love portrayed in popular films and music. This is the soul-mate love, the "I just can't help it" love, the sweaty palms and broken hearts kind of love. This is the Jack-and-Rose, the formulaic romantic comedy, the idea that there is someone special out there for each of us. 

Then there's the biological/hedonistic view of love, which has mostly has to do with either hooking up or procreating. There aren't soul mates or warm fuzzy feelings in love; our exorbitant amount of divorces and crappy marriages proves it. When scientists find the chemicals in our brain that make us "love" someone and we watch our parents' marriages fall apart, we're convinced that true love might not even exist. So if it doesn't exist, we might as well take advantage of what nature gave us and hook up with the hottest people we can find before we get old and wrinkly.

(500) Days of Summer--and, arguably, Garden State before it, in 2004--changed the game for romantic comedies in films. No longer was the younger generation satisfied with the happy ending between Julia Roberts or Hugh Grant and whomever they were romantically pursuing. Real life romances don't end in a nice and neat package, topped with a bow at the wedding altar, where the couple lives happily ever after. We see too much angst, too much heartache, too many failed marriages, and too much saccharine sentimentality. The emerging generation demanded something more authentic, more real, and certainly more cool.

Thus, the emergence of the indie hipster rom-com.

Landon Palmer wrote this insightful summary of the indie rom-com phenomenon at Film School Rejects:

As Hollywood seems hardly interested in making decent romantic comedies, the rom-com has become the most visible genre in narrative, non-subterranean indie filmmaking. 2012 included Celeste and Jesse Forever, Safety Not Guaranteed, Your Sister’s Sister, Friends with Kids, Lola Versus, Liberal Arts, Ruby Sparks, and the period dramedy Hysteria. Many of these movies feature: co-stars of a beloved sitcom, Mark Duplass, Greta Gerwig, or some combination therein; emotional realism tied to quirky comedy and attended with a killer soundtrack; a hip setting, trendy clothes, and characters with notably expendable income no matter their occupation or lack thereof; and some, though not all, feature a deliberately ambiguous and/or abrupt and/or decidedly unhappy ending with avoids Hollywood’s trappings of wrapping everything in a concise, wedding-themed bow. 

Few of these are bad films. Some are good. Most are fine. The problem isn’t with quality of output, or the fact that these films make their trade in genre (most above-ground narrative independents do). The problem is repetition and the fact that indie rom-coms are cultivating a litany of generic expectations much in the same fashion of the mainstream filmmaking practices that independent films are ostensibly poised against. If a group of films avoid Hollywood convention in the same way, they often end up creating suffocating conventions all their own.

In the past month, I watched Ruby Sparks, Safety Not Guaranteed, and Celeste and Jesse Forever. They certainly fit the indie hipster rom-com traits, with the inclusion of actor Chris Messina alongside Duplass and Gerwig as a standard indie romantic interest. (Messina was also in 2009's Away We Go and Woody Allen's 2008 film, Vicky Christina Barcelona, making him an indie hipster rom-com veteran.) The comedy in many of these films is either phallic or sardonic, switching back and forth between high-school-locker-room humour and the irony-laden cynicism of the millennial generation. I'm not a fan of the former, and can only handle small doses of the latter, so these films typically aren't as funny for me as they are amusing and affecting.

Ruby Sparks is written and directed by the same team who created Little Miss Sunshine, and stars Sunshine actor Paul Dano as a brilliant and neurotic writer longing for love. When the titular character of his next novel, Ruby Sparks, literally comes alive and appears in his home, Dano's writer must navigate the fine line between love and fantasy, freedom and manipulation. While Sparks takes a hip meta approach for the concepts of romance and creativity, and features an incredible performance from Zoe Kazan as Ruby, it's ultimately more interesting than insightful. Ruby is charming and fun, but Dano's character, Calvin, comes off as too controlling and agitated to be relatable.

Celeste and Jesse Forever is also written by its star, Rashida Jones, who portrays one half of a failing romance between two best friends. The marriage between these high school sweethearts and BFFs is ending, but for no obvious reason to the audience or their friends, apart from their naivete and selfishness. While they remain separated and are able to romantically pursue other people, they technically and practically remain married, with Jesse even living in the guest room of Celeste. When Jesse suddenly finds that a one-night stand he had with another woman has resulted in a pregnancy, instead of pursuing reconciliation with Celeste or having an honest discussion about their relationship, Jesse asks for a divorce so he can "make it work" with the mother of his child. Celeste remains inauthentic and controlling for much of the film, refusing to learn obvious lessons and creating a frustrating and unlikeable character. Celeste and Jesse is overly long, overly self-absorbed, and resorts too often to phallic jokes to lighten up its underlying depressing tone. When Celeste and Jesse finalize their divorce with a high-five, it's a celebration in futility.

The best of these three films, Safety Not Guaranteed, follows three magazine employees who pursue the story behind a cryptic classified ad seeking a traveling partner for an experiment in time travel. Aubrey Plaza stars as Darius, who is only slightly more upbeat than her charmingly cynical Parks and Rec character, April. As she discovers that Kenneth (Mark Duplass) is genuinely serious about his time traveling pursuits, she also finds herself drawn to him as someone who has also experienced loneliness and loss. Safety reveals that romance is best created when there is an adventure to be pursued together, where the couple is caught up in something greater than themselves. C.S Lewis once wrote in The Four Loves about the futility of trying to make another person the end goal in a romantic relationship or friendship; they simply cannot bear the weight of all our hopes and dreams. It's when we pursue something--or Someone--together that we find an adventurous love that endures beyond the first few dates.

I agree with Landon Palmer's assessment of the indie hipster rom-com phenomenon: Few of these are bad films. Some are good. Most are fine. The indie hipster romantic comedy likely will not become a genre that lasts forever, but it will be a cultural marker for the romantic endeavors of the 2000s and 2010s, revealing both the confusion and the wisdom that comes from a generation who watched their parents divorce and desire something better for themselves. For me, I look forward to viewing Richard Linklater's latest chapter in the romance between Jesse and Celine in Before Midnight, the third conversation-driven film about a couple's ups and downs in romance as they walk and talk nine years after their fateful Parisian conversation in Before Sunset (2004)...which was nine years after their initial meeting on a train bound for Vienna in Before Sunrise (1995). Deep and meaningful conversation filled with honesty, questions, confessions, fears, and dreams: this is the kind of indie hipster rom-com--and the kind of romantic love--that endures.

What is your favourite indie hipster rom-com? Why do you think they're becoming more popular?

Leading Up is on Sale!

Right now, at least for the next week, you can buy the Amazon Kindle version of Leading Up: Finding Influence in the Church Beyond Role and Experience for only $2, both American and Canadian.

The low price has shot it up to the current #1 Best Selling Youth Ministry Book on Amazon.com! Thanks for those who have read it, written reviews, and shared copies with your friends. I'm humbled and encouraged, and hope the book is a blessing to you and your ministry!

Click this link to get Leading Up for your Kindle! Share this post and the Amazon link with your friends. Tell 'em this: "check out the best leadership book no one has heard of yet!"

Habakkuk for Youth Workers

Photo Credit: Wiertz Sebastien (Creative Commons)

Here is a word of encouragement for youth workers adapted from the book of Habakkuk:

How long, Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save?

How long?
...until these teens begin to make wise choices?
...until the middle school guys stop being distracting?
...until this girl believes she is beautiful and loved?
...until this guy admits his struggle with pornography?
...until the students start engaging in worship/prayer/Scripture?
...until this volunteer leader starts showing up to youth group on time?
...until these parents stop criticizing me?
...until the elders increase the youth ministry budget?
...until my work week doesn't go over 50 hours?
...until this relational conflict and drama is over?
...until...(whatever difficult circumstance you're currently experiencing).

For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told. 

God's answer is not what Habakkuk expects. He tells Habakkuk that he's sending the Babylonians to sweep across the Israelite nation and take them into captivity. While Habakkuk expects God to fix the problem, it feels like more problems are coming.

What are the "Babylonians" for us? When we're experiencing a draining and difficult season, it may feel like God saying, "hey, this teen's parents are going to get divorced!" or "this student will drop out of church when they leave for college!" or "they're going to get drunk this weekend at a party!" or "the ministry budget is getting cut!" or "she'll attempt suicide!" or "he'll reject you as a mentor and friend!" or "you're fired!"

Lord, are you not from everlasting?

Habakkuk's second question to God: Are you really good? Can I trust you? It's an appropriate question after such a response from God. When we are expecting salvation and solutions, God's response may feel like divine apathy or spite, as if He is purposefully making a bad situation worse. The circumstances shift from difficult to overwhelming; we are drowning and wondering why God doesn't throw us a rope.

For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
    it speaks of the end and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
    it will certainly come and will not delay.

God's second response: Have hope. God's eternal story and plan are bigger than you and I can imagine. He knew that the exile in Babylon would only be a chapter in the larger narrative leading to the Son of God entering into our world and redeeming humanity from the exile of sin and death. Even in the midst of our pain and struggle, God's comforting hand is upon us, and He promises to never leave nor forsake.

Habakkuk's final response is a prayer that ends with these words:

Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,     
   I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Though this [situation/teen/parent/pastor/family member/friend/sin] is overwhelming and exhausting and life-draining...

...yet I will trust You. I will wait upon the Lord for my strength and hope.

This is trust on the far side of questioning and suffering. This is a trust worth pursuing.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
    he enables me to tread on the heights.

What circumstances or situations in your life and ministry are you facing that require this kind of waiting and trust?

The Impossible

I remember hearing the news about the tsunami of 2004 over the Christmas break of my second year in college. While I sat in the comfort of my home, hundreds of thousands of people were dying in countries on the opposite side of the world. I could only watch the television, wondering if there was anything I could do to help, and knowing that I was limited in my relief efforts to praying for the victims. The scope of the disaster was overwhelming.

J.A. Bayona's film The Impossible manages to capture the enormity of the tsunami devastation while maintaining a deep intimacy through telling the true story of one family who were vacationing on the coast of Thailand when the wave hit. The film opens with Maria (Naomi Watts) and Henry (Ewan McGregor) on the plane to Thailand with their three boys. They're an ordinary family doing ordinary things--the boys play video games and jostle one another in their seats; Maria grips the seat, as she doesn't like the turbulence; Henry tries to remember if he turned on their home security system before they left. They arrive at their beach resort and enjoy two days of Christmas vacation.

Then the wave hits. Much like the real life tragedy, there is no warning, no dramatic music to tell us that something is coming, no scene of the tsunami headed toward land. A change in the wind, a rush of birds flying away, and the resort is gone, shoved underwater as the sea envelopes the coast. This sequence as the wave hits is one of the most intense filmic sequences I've seen in a long time, and my stomach was left in knots as I felt the terror of being dragged underwater and struggling for breath.

After the wave hits, The Impossible doesn't let up. By the end of the film, I  was left an emotional wreck. Naomi Watts was nominated for an Oscar for her portrayal of Maria, but it's the performance of Tom Holland as her eldest son, Lucas, that was most affecting and powerful for me. Maria and Lucas somehow find each other as they are dragged through the countryside by the muddy waters, beaten and battered by the rushing debris. The two embark on a journey of survival; Maria has suffered some severe wounds that are quickly becoming life-threatening, and it's up to Lucas to keep them alive, leading them to a makeshift overcrowded hospital.

This first act of The Impossible is the most gripping and realistic; the latter act has a bit of Hollywood drama added to the mix as the family struggles to survive and reunite against impossible odds (hence the film's title), which makes the film walk the tension between pathos and sentimentalism. My wife and I had a few conversations throughout the film about what we would do if we were separated in a similar disaster. Would we seek to find the other, or do everything to protect the children we had with us? It's a moral dilemma that is impossible to answer unless experienced.

J.A. Bayona's first feature film, The Orphanage, was a beautiful horror film about a mother seeking her lost son, willing to go into the darkest places to find him. The Impossible is a thematically appropriate follow-up, with another mother-and-son relationship filling the film with life in the midst of the surrounding death and devastation. When we watch such overwhelming pain and tragedy, what are we to do? The task of healing and recovery seems impossible. Yet what is impossible with man is possible with God. Let's cry out to Him in the impossible moments, clinging to Him for healing and comfort and the miraculous.

5 Key Elements for an In-Town Youth Ministry Retreat

Slip-n-Slide Kickball

This past weekend, we did our high school ministry spring retreat. It's been called "Doulos" for a number of years, which is the Greek word for "slave" or "bondservant." We didn't go to a camp or retreat center or a hotel. It's all in-town and at-home.

Here are five key elements for making your own in-town retreat a great experience for the teens in your ministry:

1. Parent and family volunteers. Three awesome families opened their homes and let groups of teenagers take over their basements, bathrooms, and back yards. Young people got to rub shoulders with some very generous people who know how to practice hospitality, and it made a significant difference in their lives. Getting solid parents to capture the vision of the ministry and give up a weekend to serve teenagers is beautiful picture of the kingdom of God.

2. Create some "wow" moments. Whether it's a big elaborate game, a surprise worship band, riding a mechanical bull, whatever--just be sure to have one element that leaves the youth going "wow." Our "wow" moment came in the form of slip-n-slide kickball, which is essentially kickball with kiddie pools as the bases and plastic sheeting covered in soap as the baselines. Create something that will cause students to light up with delight when they see it.

3. Great video curriculum. For our retreat, we have four teaching sessions where we show a video and have a small group discussion, mostly in the homes where students are staying. This requires having DVDs or downloadable files of video teaching. There are plenty of great video curriculum resources available; we used the Chase videos from Flannel for two reasons: 1) it was only $21 for seven videos, and 2) it was a great balance between spiritual depth and accessibility for teens. If the videos are too long, too boring, too cheesy, or too adult-oriented, teens won't connect.

4. Discerning and intentional leaders. This weekend could not have happened without great adult volunteer leaders who are passionate about discipleship. From moments driving in the car to free time in between events, adults were having deep conversations with teens about their identity, beliefs, doubts, fears, and dreams. It's not enough to rely on a video curriculum or my own preaching abilities to connect with teens--they need one-on-one discipleship from a loving adult who can pace alongside them and intentionally lead them in the ways of Jesus. I love my volunteer team, and love what God did in and through them this past weekend.

5. Make it cheap. The entire weekend cost $25 per student. It included renting out an entire bowling alley, a private movie screening, slip-n-slide kickball, the video curriculum, and all their meals and transportation. Even trying to go see a movie nowadays nearly costs $20, so this was a fantastic deal. Keeping it inexpensive means more young people can come!

Midnight Movie

Have you ever done an in-town retreat before? What elements would you add? (If I had time, I would have added a serving element, like getting students to clean up a park or feed the homeless).

Mud

In the heart of the American South, two adolescent young men--it just doesn't feel right to call them "boys"--find a fugitive man hiding on an island in the middle of the immense Mississippi river. No, this isn't a Mark Twain story. It does hold on to the timeless character of Twain's tales--an innocent sweetness wrapped up with weighty moral and spiritual issues, all carried along by the great river. Ellis and Neckbone, two fourteen-year-olds from small-town Arkansas with a weathered motor boat, are seeking adventure in the form of a boat lodged high in a tree. What they find is Mud, the titular character of Jeff Nichols' latest American filmic masterpiece. Mud is aptly portrayed by Matthew McConaughey with a dangerous Southern charm and rugged idealism. Mud is a man on the run, and the boys decide to help the magnetic absconder.

I love films about teens and youth ministry, and Ellis is one of the best embodiments of a young teen I've seen on film. Portrayed by Tye Sheridan (the youngest brother in Malick's The Tree of Life), Ellis is idealistic, naive, rash, and courageous. He strolls into adult situations with a quiet confidence beyond his fourteen years. He asks out the senior girl without a drop of insecurity or insincerity. He still says "ma'am" and "sir" to his parents, but also talks about girls with Neckbone. Ellis is a romantic, pining for true love, outraged when he cannot seem to find it for himself or in the adult relationships he observes. Bearden Coleman's insightful analysis of Mud and other films set in the American South is spot on:

With much of its focus on Ellis, Mud is in many ways unashamedly a teen film—particularly of the sort exemplified by, and I mean this in the best possible way, The Karate Kid (1984), or any number of films about the scrappy, outsider kid who gets the popular girl. (The comparison might not be too far off when you consider that Nichols, at thirty-four years old, is a child of the 80s, a decade in which kids with VCRs absorbed heart-on-its-sleeve fare like Sixteen Candles (1984), Pretty in Pink (1986), and Say Anything (1989)). 

Ultimately, the film's reach is broader than teenage love. In fact, there's not a romantic relationship in the film that isn't in trouble, from Ellis's parents' separation, to Mud's hot-and-cold relationship with Juniper, down to Ellis's teen fling with May Pearl. In this way, the film reveals itself to be more concerned with the perils of the heart and less with the physical hazards of the unruly South.

In the end this is Ellis's film, not Mud's. After all, Mud has already chosen violence as his way of dealing with love's heartache. Now it's Ellis's time to choose how he will move on.

This is a story of visionaries. Where Nichol's previous film, Take Shelter, told the story from the perspective of an isolated visionary, Mud focuses on the visionary's followers and fellow idealists. As Ellis wrestles with the conflict between his ideals about love and the broken realities before him--his parents are on the verge of divorce, his high school crush may or may not share the same attraction, and Mud's "true love" of his childhood flame, Juniper, seems destined for downfall--he begins to form his adult identity. Questions begin to surface, like who am I? and what is love? and am I capable of giving and receiving love? and where do I fit in this world? Autonomy from his parents, affinity with Mud, and the boldness to make ethical decisions and take action to carry them out all stream from this boy like a slow-moving unstoppable river, driven and shaped by the currents.

I realize I haven't touched much on the narrative of Mud. Perhaps its best that I don't. Nichols has the unique gifting of being both a capable storyteller and visual poet, melding narrative and imagery together and raising up films of weight and sustenance. It is both straightforward and nuanced, unambiguous yet with a few surprising elements that make it unique. Mud speaks for itself. Mud will speak for himself, and the idealistic Ellis's will follow and be baptized in the river of an ideal love.